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Bloody Damn Turkey


So this morning as I was rushing out of the door for work. I opened the fridge to grab my yogurt. And I noticed some leaking. Stupid strawberry yogurt I thought. So I go back to the fridge to get another yogurt and realize the strawberry yogurt is innocent. It's my %$#* Thanksgiving turkey leaking all over the top shelf of my fridge. So I have to toss all my yogurt and a jello pudding and Clorox spray the bottoms of my expensive french sodas, because I am not throwing those away, I had to drive an hour for those bad boys. I finally shimmied the heavy turkey into a roasting pan. And then proceeded to clean up all the disgusting blood. Did I mention I am a vegetarian, which makes this extra disgusting?
I had to sop up all the (gag) liquid before I could remove the shelf and then had to clean my entire fridge, just to be safe! But it gets better.
After all the fridge mess is cleaned up and I text work to say I will be a little late due to Turkey-gate 2013,
I proceed to start a laundry load of contaminated towels and spray every inch of the kitchen and wash my hands 50 times. Then I put on my jacket, grab my coffee and purse and finally head into work. So as I am backing out of the driveway, I notice blood spots all over my winter white peacoat. Naturally I have to return to the house and try to scrub out the turkey blood, I start with a hot wet towel from the laundry and then get out the tide pen. I have to set my alarm again and then can actually get to work. And all this before I even had a sip of coffee. I am sooooo ready for Thanksgiving break!!!!
But to that Bloody Turkey I say, You better run boy!!!!!!




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